I was blessed to have the opportunity to attend a lecture by Dr. Kurt Thompson on “The Soul of Shame,” his newest book. It was such a powerful time to hear about the impact shame has on our lives and how we allow it to take hold and keep us from moving forward with life, often with us never realizing what is holding us back. During the lecture Dr. Thompson made a statement that has lingered with me and has prompted quite a bit of though over the last several days. The statement was “we were created naked and unashamed” in reference to the Genesis account of creation and how, at the fall of man, that all changed as shame entered the world for the first time. As I sit with this statement and ponder what it means to be naked and unashamed these thoughts come to mind.

      First, naked not only means to be unclothed but also means to be unarmed or defenseless. When God created us we were created to live a life of communion with God and our fellow man, without the hindrances of emotional walls, our “clothes” if you will. Adam and Eve lived their lives without emotional or spiritual “clothes” separating them from God or each other; keep this in mind as you read the following passage from Genesis and let the magnitude of Adam’s statement sink in.

     8 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden at the time of the evening breeze, and they hid themselves from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. 9 So the Lord God called out to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” 10 And he said, “I heard You in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid.” –Genesis 3:8-10

     Hear Adam’s shame? The fear was not just because he was physically naked, it was found in his fear of being found out and his realization that he was physically, emotionally and spiritually vulnerable. In his vulnerability Adam realized his true nature and tried to hide it rather than deal with it openly and honestly. The problem was not just his nature, but hiding from it (his nature) and not trusting God to help him through it, accepting forgiveness and redemption.

     Shame likes to play on our perceived weakness and is reinforced by our desire to not be unarmed or defenseless. It is ironic that the very thing that can break the shame cycle is the very thing we run from, and that is genuine, open and transparent relationships. The enemy wants to use shame to keep us in a place of spiritual and emotional stagnancy, which is in direct contrast to the life God wants for us. After all John 10:10 reminds us of that very truth, “A thief comes only to steal and to kill and to destroy. I have come so that they may have life and have it in abundance.”

     So how do we move past the shame? In my mind it is easy to talk about the steps of moving past shame, yet it is another thing to actually begin the process and stay the course. I don’t believe there is a magic formula for eliminating shame but I believe that if shame likes the dark recesses of our minds and hearts and cannot survive in the light then we need to bring light to our darkness. Here are my thoughts of a three step approach to ridding our life of shame.

     First, open honest confession to God. Our Father in Heaven wants us to have the best life possible, abundant life. By confessing our shame to God we open the doorway for honest communication and the healing that He has to offer. 1 John 1:5 reminds us “God is light; in him there is no darkness at all." So by confessing our shame the light of the world enters the dark places of our lives.

     Second, expand our circle of witnesses; our friends; the people who hold us accountable and pour truth into our lives without judgment or condemnation. I encourage you to find one or two people with whom you can be completely transparent. The goal is for them to provide additional light in your life and will keep you from letting your shame creep back into the recesses of your heart and mind.

     Lastly, once your shame is dealt with, do not allow Satan to keep bringing it up. I once heard that when Satan reminds you of your past, remind him of your future. I think we often allow Satan to have too much control of our thoughts and lives. I understand it is easier said than done but once God releases you from your sin and shame, Satan should not be allowed to drag it back up. This takes me back to point two and the need for people in our lives who encourage and pour truth into us.

     Shame is powerful at holding us captive, but it is time we take our lives back and move forward into light.