The Fear Within

Fear is universal and inescapable.

Across culture, language and geography, fear is a common element in the human existence. When we are born, we are born with two fears; the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. As we grow we develop more and more fears as a product or response to our experiences and environment. I recently read a study where a group of 500 psychology students were polled on their fears and at the end of the study the students reported over 7000 different fears. If we were honest we would all have to admit that fear is very real in each of our lives. So if we can’t escape fear and it is universal across all cultures, languages and geography, then what are we to do?

Read Matthew 14:22-32.

As we look at this story we see several things. First, we see Jesus sending His disciples across the lake. Being God, He knew the storm was coming, yet still He sent them on. Next we see Jesus walking out to the boat and the disciples being afraid, notice Jesus calms their fears about Him being a ghost but He did not calm the storm. Third we see Peter asking if he can walk to Jesus, Jesus says yes and notice the storm is still raging on. Then Peter loses sight of Christ and begins to sink. He call out saying “Lord, save me” Jesus reached out and saved him, notice the storm is still raging on. Not until Jesus got into the boat did the storm cease being a storm.

One of the take always for me from this passage is God does not always remove the storm, which represents our fear. Fear will always be part of our life, it is inescapable and universal.

Now that I’ve probably caused a few of you anxiety over the knowledge you can’t escape fear. Let me give you a bit of hope.

Fear is not the problem.

Read Mark 14:66-71

Peter’s response demonstrates the two main responses to fear which are shutting down/denial or anger.

Initially Peter denies Christ and walks away. For many of us fear stops us dead in our tracks and we become frozen, shutting down or running in the complete opposite direction of our fear. We can’t move in any direction with our life because fear is holding us captive. The good news is Jesus came to set the captive free (Luke 4:18 & ff).

The next main response to fear is anger. Peter’s final response to being asked about knowing Jesus is one that can only be expressed as anger, he denied Christ and began to swear and use curses. When working with people who are experiencing anger, exploring the root cause of their anger involves pursuing fears that are the possible trigger for their anger response. Anger may be a response to fear but just like shutting down it’s not an appropriate response.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said “For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness”

I don’t know about many of you but I am tired of my fears stealing my happiness and keeping me from having the life God’s wants for me.

The solution

To break the chains of the fear that is holding us captive, we first have to acknowledge our fear and surrender to God.

What does that look like?

Peter gives us a good example of this back in Matthew 14:30 ESV

But when he saw the wind,^[c] he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” 

Part of acknowledging our fear is to recognize we need help and cry out for help just like Peter and ask God to save us.

When fear holds us captive admitting we need help is the first step in overcoming fear and who better to start with than the Creator Himself.

Then next step is to Trust God. Psalm 56:3-4

When I am afraid,
  I put my trust in you.
⁴ In God, whose word I praise,
  in God I trust; I shall not be afraid.
  What can flesh do to me?

In sessions therapists often say trust the process, I trust the process but how much better to trust God knowing that He is my rock and shield,

Last, Crying out to God and trusting Him are great but it does not end there. There has to be action and that is where stepping out in faith is the final step.

This can be the scariest part, having to face the very thing that makes you afraid. When working with people and their fears, there comes the time when we have to approach the fear head on by exposing them to the thing that is causing them to be afraid.

John 10:10 tells us Jesus came to give us an abundant life. I want that life and to get it, I can’t let fear keep me from it.

My prayer and desire is for each person to break their personal chains of fear and have the best and most fulfilling life possible.

     I was blessed to have the opportunity to attend a lecture by Dr. Kurt Thompson on “The Soul of Shame,” his newest book. It was such a powerful time to hear about the impact shame has on our lives and how we allow it to take hold and keep us from moving forward with life, often with us never realizing what is holding us back. During the lecture Dr. Thompson made a statement that has lingered with me and has prompted quite a bit of though over the last several days. The statement was “we were created naked and unashamed” in reference to the Genesis account of creation and how, at the fall of man, that all changed as shame entered the world for the first time. As I sit with this statement and ponder what it means to be naked and unashamed these thoughts come to mind.

      First, naked not only means to be unclothed but also means to be unarmed or defenseless. When God created us we were created to live a life of communion with God and our fellow man, without the hindrances of emotional walls, our “clothes” if you will. Adam and Eve lived their lives without emotional or spiritual “clothes” separating them from God or each other; keep this in mind as you read the following passage from Genesis and let the magnitude of Adam’s statement sink in.

     8 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden at the time of the evening breeze, and they hid themselves from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. 9 So the Lord God called out to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” 10 And he said, “I heard You in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid.” –Genesis 3:8-10

     Hear Adam’s shame? The fear was not just because he was physically naked, it was found in his fear of being found out and his realization that he was physically, emotionally and spiritually vulnerable. In his vulnerability Adam realized his true nature and tried to hide it rather than deal with it openly and honestly. The problem was not just his nature, but hiding from it (his nature) and not trusting God to help him through it, accepting forgiveness and redemption.

     Shame likes to play on our perceived weakness and is reinforced by our desire to not be unarmed or defenseless. It is ironic that the very thing that can break the shame cycle is the very thing we run from, and that is genuine, open and transparent relationships. The enemy wants to use shame to keep us in a place of spiritual and emotional stagnancy, which is in direct contrast to the life God wants for us. After all John 10:10 reminds us of that very truth, “A thief comes only to steal and to kill and to destroy. I have come so that they may have life and have it in abundance.”

     So how do we move past the shame? In my mind it is easy to talk about the steps of moving past shame, yet it is another thing to actually begin the process and stay the course. I don’t believe there is a magic formula for eliminating shame but I believe that if shame likes the dark recesses of our minds and hearts and cannot survive in the light then we need to bring light to our darkness. Here are my thoughts of a three step approach to ridding our life of shame.

     First, open honest confession to God. Our Father in Heaven wants us to have the best life possible, abundant life. By confessing our shame to God we open the doorway for honest communication and the healing that He has to offer. 1 John 1:5 reminds us “God is light; in him there is no darkness at all." So by confessing our shame the light of the world enters the dark places of our lives.

     Second, expand our circle of witnesses; our friends; the people who hold us accountable and pour truth into our lives without judgment or condemnation. I encourage you to find one or two people with whom you can be completely transparent. The goal is for them to provide additional light in your life and will keep you from letting your shame creep back into the recesses of your heart and mind.

     Lastly, once your shame is dealt with, do not allow Satan to keep bringing it up. I once heard that when Satan reminds you of your past, remind him of your future. I think we often allow Satan to have too much control of our thoughts and lives. I understand it is easier said than done but once God releases you from your sin and shame, Satan should not be allowed to drag it back up. This takes me back to point two and the need for people in our lives who encourage and pour truth into us.

     Shame is powerful at holding us captive, but it is time we take our lives back and move forward into light.

A great article about the church and mental illness...Where is the Church when I'm broken and grieving???

http://www.tosavealife.com/the-lord-is-close-to-the-brokenhearted-but-is-the-church/

Pressure point to help relieve anger, frustration, irritability, anxiety, headache, thirst, and insomnia.

 Thanks for the video, Vicky Vlachonis

Interesting Article on EMDR Running and Drumming